Farewell 2012

As the final hours of 2012 slip away I thought the blog deserved one last post for the year. Even though we have been lax in our writing, we have been busy. We have our very own business bank account as a non-profit. The best part is there is actually a little bit of money in the account. As of the first of December all the new moms from our first class have given birth, two boys and two girls. Some of the girls are continuing to keep in touch and for that we are grateful.

In December we made the decision to expand Book Bus once again. On the second Saturday we loaded up the trailer and went from Melrose, to High Ridge in Keystone and for the first time drove the 15 miles out to McRae to share books with that community. To say we were well received would be an understatement. There were no less than 75 visitors at that stop! What I haven’t even mentioned yet is that we had a guest that Saturday. A reporter from the Times Union spent the day with us. She wrote an amazing article that really captured all that Carey and I have been trying to do. It was great to get the publicity. We have received several responses to the article, people offering books and even gas cards to help defray some of our costs. Everyone who has contacted us has been supportive and encouraging of our ministry.

I’m not sure what 2013 holds for Seeds of Grace but we know that Book Bus will continue as well as a brand new mom’s class with new mothers to be. Carey and I still dream of a real bus/ truck with music and brightly colored paint. However the old truck/trailer gets the job done, so no complaining. We have a few new faces on the scene helping with our Mom’s Class and starting a Couponing Class too. Who knows what else will reveal itself as the year unfolds. All I know is God is good, all the time, and he shows us that time and time again through each endeavor we set out to do. We welcome you to join us in any way you feel led. Wishing you a fulfilling 2013.

Loading the trailer

A warm reception from McRae

**The article ran in the Times Union on Friday December 28th on the Front Page. :)

"Might be on the side of the road passing out free books...or might just be out of gas." - Johnny Williams

Some days just don't go well.

The day started with my three year old throwing up all over her shoes. Which was better than my shoes, but still it caused me to run a little late this morning.

My dad and I (mostly my dad) successfully hitched our borrowed trailer and loaded it down with books, and we were off to our first stop.

Johnny Williams caught up with us along the way. Johnny works nights, so when he comes to book bus he's giving up a few hours sleep. We were a three man team (Teri had other commitments); one down from our preferred number for a team.

At our first stop, I saw someone I knew as a kid. I didn't recognize him at first, but as we talked I felt both joy and sadness. Joy because he is still the funny, smart guy I remember; but sadness because that smart, funny guy doesn't seem to be living his dream. Sadness because I dream about making connections that matter in an eternal way, but this meeting had been nothing more than a little superficial. I'm not sure how it could have been any different, and I'd like to think that what seems superficial to me is sometimes more; but still I walked away kinda sad.

And, that was the beginning of what could have been the end of the day. We took a back road from Melrose back to High Ridge, and Johnny Williams was driving the truck at that point. All of a sudden I realized the truck was slowing down, and he said, "Any chance we could be out of gas?" And next thing we knew, the fumes were gone and we were on the side of the road. Johnny called his dad who brought us some gas, and then we cranked the truck, and cranked the truck, and cranked the truck...but the truck didn't crank.

So, there we sat, on a back road with a borrowed trailer full of books loaded on a truck that wouldn't crank, and we were supposed to be at our first High Ridge stop right then. We quickly assessed the situation and decided the best plan was for Johnny to ride home with his dad, pick up another truck, and come back so we could load the trailer onto that truck.

Johnny got back to me and the trailer of books about the time we were supposed to be at the second stop, so we quickly loaded up. I moved our cups and stuff to his truck, while he and his dad managed the not so easy job of connecting his truck to the trailer on a pretty good incline.

Johnny and I laughed a lot about the whole thing, but it was more than a little frustrating. We were supposed to be one place, but there was absolutely nothing we could do to get there any faster. It was just one of those days when you wonder, "Is it really worth this? Maybe we should just go back home."

But, when we did finally make it to our first (which should have been our third) stop, this is what was there....

and it WAS WORTH IT! We had people waiting on us at every stop today! And the truth is, I didn't really talk to any of them about anything that wasn't superficial, but something told me maybe it still mattered.

Back to School News

For those of you who check in on us regularly, let me assure you that we are well, just extremely busy. I thought an update of the happenings was in order so here’s what we have been up to. Carey, who was my assistant extraordinaire, was promoted to Keystone Elementary’s new media specialist. With this new position came a lot more responsibility. I think she is really enjoying it and I know that she is doing a great job. 

I was given the go ahead to create a Parent Resource Room at our school (the PRR if you will).  With the help of some community-minded volunteers we turned an old book storage room into an inviting meeting place. Parents come to learn ways that they can be involved in their child’s education and are given activities and ideas to use at home.  Plans are already in the works for high school honor students to come over 4 days a week to conduct tutoring sessions with struggling students. The main goal of the PRR is to encourage parents to get involved and if they are not sure how to do it, the PRR gives them some tools to help make that happen.

The new mom’s class has met 3 times and our next meeting is in collaboration with the Safety Council. Each of the girls will be getting a new car seat and lessons on how to safely install them. The cost of the brand new seats is $20. The girls will pay half and Seeds of Grace will pay the other half.

As far as Book Bus goes we are back to our once a month schedule. The Melrose stop has become very popular. It’s no exaggeration to say we give over a 100 books away each time we’re there. We continue to enjoy our High Ridge route and are thinking of working out a plan to start servicing the McRae area too. We are having shelves made for our abundance of books. A sweet retired carpenter has made this his own project and we have received some monetary donations to help pay for materials.  

As I look back over the things that have transpired I am amazed by both what has been done and what is still left to do. I continue to pray that we will follow the blueprint that God has put before us. Carey and I marvel at how eager people are to help in many ways, yet we are still waiting on God to send us a few more folks who have the desire to make a commitment to this ministry. We continue to actively wait and confidently rest in the knowledge that He knows the big plan for what is in store.

Entrance to PRR (formerly Book Room)

It's amazing what a little paint and a lot of TLC can do.

Can you pick out the pinterest ideas and the dumpster finds?

Maybe It is Coming Together

For a long time, it has felt (I'm going to speak for Teri here too), like we were kinda doing this on our own. For a long time, there were only a handful of people who were helping us, and we had just a few wads of cash that people had donated. And, don't get us wrong, it was enough, we were lacking nothing...except patience. 

You see, we have been dreaming these enormous, crazy dreams for about two years now. We have moved painstakingly slow, or so it seemed to us. Now...

We have our SECOND mommy class planned for August 1.
The book bus has been in "business" for more than a year. 
We had a very encouraging conversation with the county manager this week. 
We changed our book bus schedule, and several High Ridge residents noticed. 
We received a check made out to Seeds of Grace, our first.
We have realized we need to get an image designed to use on letterhead, thank you notes, etc.
A small, quiet group of women have been working on a Seeds of Grace cookbook for us to give away to our book bus friends, and they hope to go to print in the next two weeks.
It may not be directly related, but it has still been part of our dream- there will be a parent resource room at KHES this year!

We still have lots of big dreams and many are unfulfilled, but we are moving! A big thank you to all of you who have faithfully prayed, dreamed with us, worked on some little/big task, donated time/money, and spread the word about what we are doing! Keep dreaming with us! It is starting to get exciting!

Sometimes It Takes 9 Months

It may take 9 months to have a baby, but it took us 9 months to put together a
baby class for young moms. It was definitely worth it, though. The four girls
that attended agreed and are excited to come back for the next gathering.
Episcopal Children's Services shared two DVDs that
touched on the importance of touch, conversation, reading and
basically interacting with your child. It encouraged young parents to turn off
the TV and put down their cell phone and spend time bonding and playing with
their newborn. The girls enjoyed the information that was shared as well as
snacks and a special gift bag for each of them. The class ended with some
conversation, and all the girls excited to meet again. We are excited too- not
just for the opportunity to teach, but to encourage and become a part of a
support system within our community both for these girls and their babies.

The "Moms to Be" were thrilled with their gift bags. Thanks to Suzie, Deb,
and Jenah for all their efforts to put them together.

Everyone loves a cupcake

One of our new moms and grandma to be!

Could You Help?

You know the mail carriers have their creed. Here is the Book Bus creed: Neither tropical storms, road construction or mud will keep the Book Bus from sharing books with eager readers! At least that was the case on Saturday.  We were a bit worried at the beginning of the week but by Thursday we knew it was a go. Not only did we do our six stops in High Ridge but we also added a Melrose stop at the apartments behind Melrose Elementary off SR 26. We were thrilled with the response of the residents and plan to make it a regular stop.

I am not able to find the words to describe to you the emotion that fills me when we pull up to our Book Stop and there are cars and people everywhere waiting on us! There are always words of appreciation, sometimes there are requests for certain authors or types of reading material. I feel safe in saying that Carey and I both believe that our Book Bus is “God driven” . I am amazed at all He has blessed us with over the past year and I don’t just mean books. The people we have met and the things we have learned are priceless.

There are a few things that we are in need of. The Bible says, “ Ask and you shall receive” so we’re asking. We have noticed that preschool and board books are very popular. We are always running low on these. We have recently been offering cookbooks which have been a big hit, but our supply is running low. We also had a specific request for Monster Truck books. I didn’t want to leave that out. If you have anything you would like to donate please contact Carey or Teri. Thank you for caring about and sharing  how God is using us in our community.

They came inspite of road blocks and construction!

Time out to read :)

Our Melrose Stop!

We are official!

So, I received our certificate of incorporation in the mail last week.

So, it's official, we are Seeds of Grace, Inc.

And...I use the word "so" way too much. Ha.

1,000

On our next book bus tour, we will have been driving down those dusty, dirt roads for a year.

We have more books in our closet than we can give way.

We are talking about expanding and wondering what's next for this adventure.

We have filed articles of incorporation and are looking at filing for federal non-profit status.

For the last few weeks, I have had at least one person a week tell me they are interested in volunteering.

And we have had more than 1,000 page views. I know some people get that much traffic in a day or even in an hour, but for me...it still seems like we ought to celebrate. It is a milestone.

We might not be big. We might not have any power or money to speak of.

But...we are moving, we are thinking, and God is using what seems so little to us.

We are grateful and excited about the movement we see!

Agriculture

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Storyline Conference and heard Donald Miller say,

"The spiritual life is like agriculture, not commercialism."

And today, I read these quotes...

Oscar Romero wrote, "It helps, now and then, to step back and take the long view. The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts: it is beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is the Lord's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us. No sermon says all that should be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection. No pastoral visit brings wholeness. No program accomplished the Church's mission. No set of goals and objectives includes everything. That is what we are about. We plant the seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted knowing they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that affects far beyond our capabilities. We cannot do everything and there is a sense of liberation in that. This enables us to do something, and do it very, very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest. We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the Master Builder and the worker. We are workers, not master builder; ministers, not messiahs. We are prophets of a future that is not our own."

May we remember this as we plan, and write vision statements and business plans, and apply for 501c3. May we remember this as we watch families continue to disintegrate. May we remember this as we work and minister.

Could a day at the beach change the world?

Disclaimer: I am not, nor do I claim to be, the perfect parent. I screw it up as a mom all of the time. Also, for many of the parents of my students, life is so complicated and tough, that even a trip to the grocery store can be a real challenge. I'm not blaming anyone or saying if I were in their shoes I could do it differently. I am saying, "there has to be a better way, and how can I help?"


For the most part, I would say I haven't spoiled my children. I expect them to do what they are asked, to use their manners, to think for themselves, and I love each of their little steps towards independence (dressing themselves, brushing their own teeth, going up the stairs by themselves to get whatever it is they left behind). We don't buy the newest toys, we own no gaming system, and although they may have a lot of clothes, many were worn previously or picked up on the clearance rack. But...there is one way my husband and I have intentionally spoiled our children. We have spoiled them with experiences. 

We go to the library about once a week.

Both of our girls have been to Haiti.

We have taken our oldest daughter to live theater productions.

Today we went to the beach, and on the way Isaac and I talked about a trip we are planning to take to Washington D.C.

For being six and two, they've done and seen a lot.

Today when we went to the beach, we picked up rocks and shells and talked about how old they might be or how they got to the shore. We stopped to notice a rabbit hopping around the dunes. We built a sand castle and talked about how important it is to have the right mixture of water and sand. These are the same things my parents did for me, and they are things many of my friends would do with their children without even thinking. 

On the way home from the beach, my mind drifted to the dreams Teri and I talk about and the plans we are trying to make. And, I thought...here is another example of how different My children's lives are from many of the students I see every day. 

You see today was a day I could have easily taken for granted, that my children quite possibly took for granted...but for at least half of the students I see at school, it would have been an extraordinary day. 

Teri and I often say we wish parents realized how important the "little things" are. If we could somehow get parents to feed their children healthy meals, read to them every day, give them a bath, and put them to bed on time consistently; we think this would be a different world. And, then I wonder if you could add a trip to the beach or a museum every once in a while on top of that regular, basic care and attention...

I don't know of any fix. I don't know how to "make" any of that happen. I just know that if we could help a few parents learn how important these things can be, we just might change a few kids lives.

The best part

We love seeing a child's face light up when they find the perfect book, 

or they walk away with their arms filled with a few new treasures, 

or we see them at school and they have a "book bus" book with them. 

But this little girl, has just stolen our heart. 

She has been at book bus nearly every time we've made a trip over the last year.

And on Saturday, she came running to the book bus with her arms in  the air, saying,

 "I've been waiting ALL DAY for this!" 

 

And that is the best part!

Not Just Any Old Saturday

Helping JoJo choose the right book.

So excited to see some of our students!



Sharing Wisdom

Showing off her books.

Lots of customers!

Making a new friend :)

Catching up with an old one.

Saturdays can mean different things. For me it is often laundry, cleaning, or a trip to Gainesville for a little shopping. But one Saturday a month I get to ride down a few dusty roads and give out books with friends and acquaintances. I can't even describe what joy it brings to pull up to our first stop and see three or four vehicles waiting on us! We have streamlined the event. Now that we are using a trailer for our book bins there is no unloading at each stop. This has made us so efficient we have increased our stops to six within our two hour time slot. Our signs have gotten a facelift too. (I will post a picture of one next month.) Next month is our one year anniversary. It has been a busy year. Reflecting back on all that has transpired, I am so thankful for this opportunity to serve our community in such a small way. I look forward to more doors opening and I pray God will give us the strength and wisdom to boldly and gracefully walk through them.

We are too easily pleased.

"It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are too easily pleased." C.S. Lewis

Isn't this so true? How often have we settled? We've settled for what we know, because it is familiar and comfortable. Like the rich, young ruler we cling to the treasures in our hands instead of trading them in for God's amazing, but unpredictable way of life.

How often do we come to God with meager requests because we don't have the faith to ask for our real dream? Or how often do we not ask because we are afraid that if God made a way for our dream to happen, we would only fail?

These are the questions I'm struggling with lately. What things am I holding onto because they are familiar and comfortable, but they are really just in the way of what God has for me? And what things has he already given me, but is still daring me to dream bigger?

As for Seeds of Grace, the articles of incorporation were mailed yesterday! I can't wait to see what God may have for us in the coming months. This is an area I'm confident about. God is definitely saying, "DREAM BIG!"

New summer schedule

I am sure Teri will be posting pictures of Book Bus from this past Saturday, but I wanted to go ahead and get the word out about our summer schedule. The Book Bus will be rolling out on...

June 16
June 30
July 14
July 28
August 11

We are looking forward to meeting new people and seeing our "regulars" even more regularly. ha.

Also, I'm hoping to start writing a little more regularly again too!

Thanks to all of you who have continued to check the blog, even though we've been mighty quiet.

Book Bus +

The weather was warm, spring was in the air and the Book Bus was headed for High Ridge. We had a good April run. Each of our four stops brought some return customers as well as some new faces. Next month we will make our monthly voyage but beginning in June we will try to step it up.

There is the hope of an actual bus. Wouldn't that be amazing! This encourages us to dream of more roles our Book Bus could take on. If you have any ideas on how we can make a difference within our community we would love to hear your thoughts…

What are your dreams?

I found this today, in a file of papers. I wrote this on April 23, 2009 during a time of prayer. It's a more personal entry than usual, but it's been a difficult, personal few weeks. What is amazing to me, is how God was preparing me almost three years ago for the past few weeks and today and tomorrow.  And how this dream has not faded, but only become more vibrant and important. 


I dream of a Church...
A group of people totally obsessed with the love of God.

I dream of a church that creates and leads the community to THE HOPE through stories and love.

I dream of a church that does not exist in a building, but as a community. I dream of a church that is no afraid of the world, but engages the world so that it may taste the GOODNESS OF THE LORD.

I dream of a church that is concerned about starving people; dying people; orphans; girls who have been sold as sex slaves; boys who are addicted to porn; fathers who don't know how they will provide for their families next meal; abusive parents and abused children; people who are locked up in prisons-both the innocent and the guilty; rich executives who have lost sight of their ethics; average Americans who have never known how to manage their money; moms who never feel good enough; young people searching for a way to make a difference and grabbing on to whatever finds them first. I DREAM of a CHURCH that doesn't just express concern with their words and prayers, but gives ACTION TO THOSE CONCERNS. 

I dream of a church that is more concerned about PEOPLE, God's favorite creation, than music, carpet color, buildings, creation vs. evolution, politics, denominations, and theological subscriptions, or even their eternal reward.

I dream of a church that is honest, Honest enough to say it screws-up- both individually and corporately. I dream of a church that believes in the power of redemption through Jesus' blood enough to drag out its dirtiest members and most "sacred" secrets and say, "THIS IS WHO WE ARE (WERE), AND LOOK AT WHAT GOD HAS DONE!" 

I dream of a church whose vision and activities consist of two things only- LOVE GOD! LOVE PEOPLE. If it's not one of those two thins, then it doesn't matter.

And I DREAM of being ONE, SINGLE, small part of that church. 

This dream is my mission.


I know that I can not build this dream, but I believe in a God who can. And over the past few weeks, I've seen a "church- a community of people" who have been this dream to me.  

Plans, with prayer

I'm sure that some of you are ready for an update that includes more than "we are praying." prayer is a good thing, and at the end of this blog post I'm going to share with you some specific ways you can join us in prayer, but first let me share with you some of the things we have been contemplating.

It seems as though there is no way to start a tutoring center in the neighborhood at this point. The Clay County zoning board says it can't happen.

So we have been thinking and imagining what we could do instead. Here are some of the ideas in no particular order.

1. School-parent liaison. We think it would be a good idea to have someone at the school who could facilitate conversation between parents and classroom teachers. Sometimes families, for whatever reason, are reluctant to contact the school with questions or even to  come to school for a conference when requested by the teacher. Unfortunately the classroom teacher's job is changing and it is difficult for them to put in a lot of extra time and effort into communication with parents. We see, that at our school, especially in the K-2 grades it would be helpful to have a "middle man." This school liaison would not wait until there is a problem  but try to target at-risk families and then "train" them on the best ways to communicate with teachers and how to get the information they need to help their child succeed.

2. A real bus. Currently our book bus is just our cars, but all along we have talked about getting a real bus that we could convert into a classroom/computer lab/library. We could drive into the neighborhood, park, and offer training in a number of areas.

3. Church. We can't start a school in the neighborhood, but we can start a church. We would have to develop land and buildings that would meeting building codes, which would be pricey. As a side note: there is a saloon, one of the few pieces of commercial property that backs up to the neighborhood, which we have discussed seeing if they would be willing to let us meet there on Sunday mornings. We have not talked to the owners of the saloon, but it is an idea we are playing with.

4. Relationships and Homes. We have also discussed that if we could build enough relationships with people in the neighborhood, then our new friends might be willing to host classes or group discussions in their homes.

We think these are good ideas. We think all of these ideas could end up working together.

We don't want to do what we think, though. We want to do what God has planned for us. We know that whatever His plan is will work out and we won't have to make it happen. We know there is work to be done, but that His work is fulfilling and life-giving.

We also know that prayer works. We know that as we seek God, He will be faithful to lead us in His direction. So, we have decided to pray the hours of prayer (3am, 6am, 9am, noon, 3pm, 6pm, and 9pm). We have split the hours amongst our core team so that someone prays at each hour, then we are all praying together at 9pm. We would love for you to join us at one of these hours, especially 9pm.

There are no real rules here. Pray for as long as you like however you like (write it down, sing it, etc). No need to report to anyone, unless of course you have a vision for us...then please share!

This is the prayer we have all agreed to start with, and then we will see where God leads from there.

Lord, help me now to unclutter my life, to organize myself in the direction of simplicity. Lord, teach me to listen to my heart; teach me to welcome change, instead of fearing it. Lord, I give you these stirrings inside me. I give you my discontent. I give you my restlessness. I give you my doubt. I give you my despair. I give you all the longings I hold inside. Help me listen to these signs of change, of growth; help me to listen seriously and follow where they lead through the breathtaking empty space of an open door.

We are still planning our class for new moms, and the book bus will be out again this weekend- so these are things that are already happening that you could pray for as well.

Clean up Your Act!

That is exactly what happened to us last week.  Angels of mercy (and organization) descended on the Book Bus closet and turned it from chaos and confusion to orderly arranged bins labeled from board books to adult fiction. In reflection, I am amazed at the gift these lovely ladies shared with us.

Every month Carey and I enjoy hauling the 15+ bins of books through the neighborhood of High Ridge. They make their way in and out of our vehicles at four different book stops. The outing takes us a little over 2 hours and brings us more joy than we can explain. However the task of getting that closet to a place where we could take more books and be more efficient never quite got accomplished. I marvel how those 3 lovely women got it done in less than a school day. It just goes to show you that God gives each of us unique gifts.  Kyla, Mary Ann and LaDonna, we so appreciate your gifts. Thank you for using them to help our ministry.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words……

Before

After

Thank You!

Teri and I started dreaming this dream more than a year ago. We gathered a group of people to start talking about this idea almost a year ago. During that year..

We have made several book bus trips. We have made friends and acquaintances. We have watched these friends and acquaintances experience highs and lows. We have looked at more than ten pieces of property. We have given away hundreds of books. We have had two lengthy conversations with the zoning board. We have started this blog and passed out a few business cards. We have prayed and asked others to pray. 

We continue to believe that moving into the neighborhood is vital. 

"the Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood."
                                                            John 1:24 The Message

But, we are sensing that God is telling us maybe our "plan" isn't really his plan. There is scripture about that too.

So, we are taking a few steps back and re-thinking.

Re-thinking is difficult work. It isn't far from repenting. It is discouraging, even if it is necessary. 

I want to thank all of you whom have been so encouraging! Reading, commenting on the blog and in person or via email, praying, doing, suggesting, listening,  traveling with us on the book bus, volunteering to help us re-organize our book closet, sending cards and donations- these are all things people have done for us. 

And, as we are in these foggy, rethinking kind of days, we appreciate all that you do even more. 

We know sunny days are on the way! We hope that as we travel through these harder days, you will continue to pray for us. 

We really want to follow God's plan not ours, even if that means we never have a place to call our own. 

We have been talking about gathering for some corporate prayer, but in the mean time please include us in your daily prayer time- I'm not even exactly sure what to ask you to pray for. But there is a prayer written by Thomas Merton that expresses so clearly where I think we are...maybe it will give you some inspiration as you pray for us. 

Again, thank you all so much for all of your encouragement and support.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, 
and the fact that I think that I am following your will 
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road,
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always, 
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, 
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
                                            -Thomas Merton
 

February Book Bus

The 2^nd Saturday of the month may mean yard sales to some, but in High Ridge it means the Book Bus is coming. Fortunately the rained cleared well before the first stop at 10:30am. The sun was shining but there was a chill in the air. The Book Bus pulled up to find people anxiously waiting to peruse the tubs filled with a large selection of children and adult literature. Hot chocolate was eagerly accepted with marshmallows, of course.

 Each stop brought appreciative folks thrilled for the opportunity to build their home library. One young man was excited to find just the right book to help him with a literature project due next week. Families came looking for specific authors, others asked for help finding appropriate books for their beginning reader.

Today we calculated about 50 people came to pick out books. Since everyone is allowed 5 books that means we gave away close to 250 books. Luckily there are still plenty more books thanks to all the generous donations.

 It just amazes me how much fun can be had riding around giving away used books. Let us know if you’d like to ride along.

Lots of families looking for some good books.

That's the face of someone who found the perfect book.

Have bike... Will read

Just wondering...

I wonder where are we headed? What is the plan here? When will we have a plan?

I wonder how will anyone ever make a real difference in this little neighborhood that is totally locked-in land-wise. Since the county has told us it will be very difficult for us to be "in the neighborhood," I went for a drive today to determine what our options are just outside of the neighborhood. Well, that didn't look so great either.

So, then, I wonder, how long will this larger community, this town ignore this neighborhood that is in such need and has so much to offer. This neigborhood, yes, is filled with addicts of all sorts, criminals, the elderly, and the mentally and physically handicapped. But, this community is also filled with sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, artists, people who work hard, people who just need a little help and someone to listen to their story and someone to answer their questions.

I wonder, if this town continues to ignore High Ridge, because let's face it...it is easy to ignore, it is mostly hidden from sight, what will our town become? Will it become like High Ridge? Or will it continue to be more and more wealthy and ignore this neighborhood that continues to struggle and struggle? Neither is good, right? Neither is what Jesus had in mind, right?

And I wonder, where is the church? Didn't Jesus come to rescue the poor and down and out and the broken-hearted and the captives? Why are so few of his followers (and in our little town the majority of people claim to be his followers) ignoring the people he came to rescue? I wonder if the church focused on reaching these people whom Jesus focused on, would we need all of our gimmicks? Would we need all of our programs? Or would we just find that as we acted like Jesus (obviously we have to study scripture to know how to do that) and talked to the kinds of people Jesus spent so much of his time with (and then debriefed from these experiences with other people trying to follow Jesus), that we would actually become more and more like him?

I know this is harsh. And I know that I have to judge myself here too, and I know that often times I screw all of this up. I know that I have been, and am still, blind to the people around me who are in need.

I know there are people and churches who are ministering to the down and out. I just wonder if we are doing enough. I wonder are we really going to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"?

Anybody have any answers? I don't. Anybody want to add some questions? I'm sure I will have more.


Trying a new thing:

A little encouragement

I've refrained from saying much because I didn't want you all to have to listen to me whine. I have two young children, so I know the torture of listening to a poor-pitiful-me-saga. 

On Sunday, I received some encouragement, so let me share that story.

Maybe you find yourself a little down about this or that, and somehow, this story will encourage you too.

At the end of the church service I attend, there is always a closing song and an invitation to spend some time at the altar in prayer.

During the closing song, I was thinking about all of this "seeds of grace" stuff and all of the obstacles we need to overcome and how few answers I have. I was thinking how I would love to have my church body and all of my friends rallied behind this idea. But, it is hard to rally people when you aren't exactly sure how you are going to make any of your ideas happen. 

My prayer is over and over again, God show us the way. Open our eyes. 

Anyway...I sort of came to this "ok, God, I know that you led me here.  I know that you have put these ideas in my heart. For a long time, you have been giving me these wild, crazy dreams (for about 10 years). I have NO IDEA how you are going to make ANY of them happen, but I'm trusting that you are going to show me the way." 

It wasn't emotional. It wasn't an epiphany. It was more...a very matter-of-fact, I've said this before, but just so we both know...

So, that wasn't really the encouraging part. The encouraging part was that this woman, whom I would not normally call bold, came to me and with great boldness and surety said, "I know you must be discouraged. I know that it must seem like every time you take one step, you get knocked back two. But, I want you to know that God is gonna make a way and that I am praying and will keep praying." 

We had talked a little before church, so she knew some of what we are facing. She has been working on a simple cookbook that we can use to teach some classes when we do "get a place." She is with us, has joined the rally, and she isn't family, so she doesn't have to-ha. It's encouraging. 

I'm so thankful God gives us these little gifts to keep us going. I'm so glad this sweet lady was obedient. 

Hope someone encourages you this week. Hope that whatever it is you might be trying to sort through, you find the strength to believe that God is with you and he will show you the way. Because He will...

If you can't say anything nice...

It's not that I have anything bad or mean to say. It's really that I don't have much at all to say.

We got bad news from the county zoning office, and we are still mulling it over and thinking about what it means and what we ought to do. You'll probably hear more about all of that later.

I have articles of incorporation written.

It's been a productive, but kind-of-blah kind of week.

I guess, maybe, the best thing I could say is... Please pray for Seeds of Grace.

We believe the best way to minister to High Ridge is to move into the neighborhood, but the word from the zoning office is that it will be very difficult, at best. So...if this is the plan, we need to know how to work within the system and how to get a place in the neighborhood. If it is not the plan, we need to know what the best way to do what God has called us to do without being in the neighborhood.

Please pray for Teri and I as we continue to sort out what we are to do with the burdens God has laid on our hearts. he has the answers. He is the answer. We are trusting him.

Active Waiting

As we continue to search for the property that will give Seeds of Grace four walls and a roof we try to look at other paths that God may want us to travel until the timing is right.  As we wait on a place to share “Grace” I believe God is not calling us to just sit and wait. I think he expects active waiting. Even though there are many things we realize we aren’t able to do right now, we are trying to focus on those things that are within our realm of action.

 An idea that is still in formation is a “New Mommy” class. Pulling from local resources, the idea is to have an opportunity to share with a group of young mothers to be. The class would have a little of everything from swaddling to the importance of conversation to develop early language skills. The plan is for each class to be led by a different person who can share their knowledge and life experience about a specific area of parenting. This will be a chance to educate but I think we may be just as much the recipients of the education. We can continue to form relationships and gain insights as we wait....

My momma loves me...

I can't claim thousands of supporters, but I am so thankful for the few who help carry me on the days I'm not sure all of this is worth it, when I'm not sure I will ever see this dream come true.

My momma is one of my biggest fans, and I genuinely appreciate her public bragging.

Check out her blog post here, she has some great pictures of our day.



Also, if you know of someone who would like to help us organize that mess of a book bus closet, we would welcome them.

Science and Hope

A friend of mine, who has taught for several years and recently spent some time studying ESE while earning her masters, said "I think that if we could change the home life of most of our children in ESE classes,  we would see the need for those programs almost eliminated."

See this article from NYtimes that says doctor's are now saying my friend's hypothesis has been scientifically proven.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/08/opinion/sunday/kristof-a-poverty-solution-that-starts-with-a-hug.html?_r=3

Complications

Maybe trying to keep up a blog daily on an iPad wasn't my best plan. There have been complications. On MLK day, I had a beautiful (if I do say so myself), challenging post written. I went to check a fact, and when I came back my post had disappeared. I couldn't re-write it, there was no way I could get the words to read just so. And besides, I'm pretty sure I had climbed up on my high horse and was sounding more than a little preachy.

But, here is someone who managed to write what I wanted to write without sounding preachy and self-righteous.

http://deeperstory.com/the-streets-full-of-hungry-people/


And here is the MLK quote that inspired me that night.

"Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one's soul."

The first step to giving our soul is "seeing" someone.

There is a lot of complication in life. Trying to figure out the best ways to help people, even people I am close to, seems like one of the most complicated tasks. When I think about helping people whose pain I only know from a distance, it seems nearly impossible to know the right way to help. I know it has little to do with handing out food, and books, and clothes; and more to do with a smile, a conversation, and journeying through the ups and downs of life. But that is all really complicated, isn't it?

Hope these things inspire you too! And we would love for our readers to share some similar things that have inspired them. Just leave a link in the comment box. Thanks!

A glimpse

Book Bus is always fun. I enjoy meeting new people and seeing familiar faces and having little chats with people of all ages about what they like to read or why they have never liked to read. It is intriguing and insightful and interesting to hear people's stories.

But then there is always at least a moment, a glimpse into the brokenness and the hurting and the poverty. Mother Theresa is credited for having said "The most terrible kind of poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." Sometimes when you are bent over a crate of books with a child you notice their hands are too dirty, and you wonder if they feel ignored. Or sometimes you find yourself talking to a grown man who says something that is inappropriate and you wonder how long it has been since he's had an honest and trully intimate conversation with anyone.

I've been hesitant to write about much of the brokenness we have seen, because I don't want to give a stereotype to a whole neighborhood. I don't want to cast judgement on a single person. We don't know any of our new friends well enough to know how they got where they are. And not everyone we meet is living in poverty.

The thing is...when we go to High Ridge for a Book Bus trip or anything else, it seems like the things of life are just magnified there. Love and Joy and Connection seem grander, and hurt and hate and pain seem bigger.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by the bad, painful things in this life. I'm a fixer, and I'd like to make it better for everyone. What I have to remember, though, is that isn't really my job. My job is to do the little, tiny things that God asks me to do...pack up some books, listen to people talk, pray...and trust that somehow God will use those tiny little things in his big, grand scheme of redemption.

There are just days when I wish I got more glimpses of redemption than brokenness, and today is one of those days.

The Magic Book Bus

This weekend marked the January run of the BOOK BUS. We layered our clothes, cranked up the heaters and pulled into High Ridge with crates filled with books and thermoses of hot chocolate.  Even though the air was cool, the sun was shining and attendance was good.  At two of our stops we actually had customers waiting on us (are they customers if the books are free?). Picking out your 5 books is serious business. Often times, there is consultation with a friend or at least the person leaning over the crate next to you. It’s fun to get down there with the kids who may feel a little shy and draw them out with a good Junie B. or Amelia Bedelia book. Before you know it they are requesting books and Carey and I are realizing we have got to get that closet organized. The books are plentiful but the workers few. J I have to say the biggest thrill I get is the kids that say, as they walk away with their books in hand, “See you next month.”



Crates ready to go!



First customers of the day

It was just what he was looking for.

Checking out the chapter books

This Saturday

We are gearing up for another book bus run. We have posted our signs around the neighborhood so people will know when and where, and we will be passing out some flyers.

Saturday morning we will go to our very scary closet, load up our boxes of books, drive to High Ridge and give away as many books as we can.

So...hold on until then, and I hope I will have some good stories and pics to share.

For those of you who are following (officially or unofficially) us, we really appreciate it!

Waiting

I don't really enjoy the waiting stage. I know it is part of life, but I'm still always looking for the action. I've always loved that part in Dr. Seuss' Oh the Places You'll Go about the waiting place.

Anyway, we are in that stage, waiting...waiting to get some info from the zoning department, waiting to find the right location, waiting for the right people to come alongside us.

We aren't passively waiting. Teri and I do what we can until we get a place. We do a lot of praying and thinking and talking and dreaming and debating and then more praying. And we do some reading and researching.

Not to long ago, we spent a day at an amazing place called Grace Place in Naples, FL. Stephanie Campbell, the director of Grace Place, was more than generous with what they have learned. She lent me a book entitled Good to Great, and I finished reading it over Christmas break.

The author, Jim Collins, says that if a non-profit wants to be great, it must answer three questions.

1. What are you deeply passionate about?
2. What can you be best in the world at?
3. What drives your resource engine?

For the past few days, I've been in the waiting place with these three questions. They are big, deep, difficult-to-answer-honestly questions. My waiting space is feeling a little crowded. At the same time, I know they are important questions, and I hope I have the discipline and perseverance to wait it out and find the best answers. I am also so thankful that I'm not waiting alone or left to find the answers on my own. I have an amazing group of friends and family whom listen to me blabber as I  try to process all of this out loud.

Check out www.graceplacenaples.org. They are living the dream, at least what Teri and I dream Seeds of Grace could become.

Hope I didn't keep you waiting. When I tried to post last night, I had some obvious technical difficulties.

A fourth century challenge

I use an awesome prayer book, called Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals by Shane Claiborne, Jonathan Wilson-Hartgrove, and Enuma Okoro. A few days ago, there was this quote from Basil of Caesarea, "When someone steals a person's clothes, we call him a thief. Should we not give the same name to one who could clothe the naked and does not? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat hanging unused in your closet belongs to those who need it; the shoes rotting in your closet to the one who has no shoes. The money which you hoard up belongs to the poor."

Our statement of purpose

Seeds of Grace exists to provide educational opportunities and life-enriching skills for at risk children and impoverished families in High Ridge Estates, and to foster relationships among all people looking for a new, more grace-filled way to live. 

Seeds of Grace is a faith-based, non-profit neighborhood center which provides excellent educational programs at no financial cost to families to encourage the overall development of children in need. These programs focus on school readiness and academic success, life enrichment via mentoring relationships and new experiences. The outcomes will be (1.) children who grow up to be literate, emotionally and physically healthy, and productive members of society and (2.) volunteers who see the ways their lives are impoverished if they don't connect to the families in need next door.

We should probably mention that everything is a work in progress and subject to change. We believe this statement captures the heart of what we are planning, but we may still end up making some adjustments as we become more aware of the needs of the neighborhood and how our talents and passions best intersect with those needs.

The beginning

It is difficult to know where to start in our story. We have a lot to tell, but really we probably have only lived a short chapter of this story. What has been exciting and amazing to us, when we try to explain it may be dull and meaningless to you. 

One of the things that amazes me most about our story is how this story began without either Teri or I knowing. I had been serving as children's pastor at a church for a few years, but God started to impress on me that it was time to find a new way to minister, a way that was more involved with the "outside world" as I called it at the time. So, I applied for a job at our local elementary school. I applied for a classroom assistant position and was hired to work in an ESE classroom. I found out that I would be working with Teri Sapp, whom I had met a few times, but did not really know. It didn't take long to find out we were kindred spirits.

At about the same time Teri and I were starting to get to know each other, God started to open my eyes to some of the things that break his heart in Keystone Heights, our tiny little town.  We began to talk about what our community and school and students might need. We talked and dreamed about different ways we might could begin to follow God more fully and join Him in the work He wants to do in our community. One day we were driving through High Ridge Estates, a neighborhood where many of our students live, and Teri said, "You know what I've always wanted to do...I think it would be really fun to drive around this neighborhood like an ice cream truck would, but instead of selling ice cream,  I'd give away books." We both laughed, and then I think we started talking about something else.

Later that night, the ice cream truck with books haunted me. It was a good idea!

Over the next few months, we talked and dreamed with anyone who would listen, and then we made a plan for the summer. We emailed our school faculty and a few others to say we would love to have some used books. At first we thought we wouldn't have enough, but then we were flooded with books. 

We gathered a small group of volunteers, advertised in the neighborhood, loaded up our trucks, and drove to four stops in High Ridge. Last summer, we made a book bus run every other Saturday, and during the school year we have tried to go once a month (although we have had some weather issues). 

We aren't exactly sure what God has planned for us, but we are working on non-profit status, and hoping to find a piece of property in High Ridge where we could offer some tutoring for students and encouragement for their families. In the mean time, we are thinking of creative ways we can bless our students and families living in High Ridge.
Have you ever asked God to show you what breaks his heart in your community? What did you find? And how did He invite you to join Him in his redemption story?